F.E.A.R.


I looked into his eyes and saw the future that I wanted.  He smiled  at me and I could swear, he knew that smile would divert my intentions…I wanted to know.  What was the possibility of being here in this moment for the rest of my life?

I know myself a little better every time I am in his presence.  I am comforted there, in the space and time of a visual embrace.  That’s right, he looks at me and with just a glance, he gives a peace that

runs over my soul…dsc_0172

I dream of him often, and I cannot remember relationships of the past ever being counted as painful.  Everything I have ever known before this moment has been par for the cause.  A course in the reality of him.  There is a nervous energy when we are together.  It is scary and exciting all at the same time, and highly addictive.  I want to know this energy at all times that keeps me on my toes.   Being in this situation reminds me of the acronym about F.E.A.R.

I can feel an energy from him.  Could he possibly want me too?  How has he been able to contain it?  It burst from me in a million eruptions, and emits from me like trapped light.  I scare him.  I know that I do.  I represent all of the things he may not be prepared to face.  What should he do?

F*CK EVERYTHING AND RUN:How often has he chosen this?  How many times had he saved his neck from what he perceived to be the guillotine of love?  So this is where he is…

I keep hoping that he will:

FACE EVERYTHING AND RE-LOVE: I want to hold him in my arms when I see him.  Comfort him from the bruises he has obtained from the storms that come with love.  He doesn’t trust it, the feeling that comes with it, therefore he doesn’t trust me.  I want him to face everything that prepared him for this moment.  The heart ache.  The broken promises…the broken misses…

I wish I could curl into the bend of him…know the joy of him between these arms, and rest in the pleasure of this love…

Now I wish I could remember how it felt BEFORE I loved him…

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s