Without A Choice…


“Why are you choosing me?”  I ask eagerly without reservation.  I stare hungrily into his eyes, look for the truth in them.  I’ve often heard that the soul goes swimming there.  I do not break it, for fear I may miss the truth that I often miss in the pursuit of being loved. 

With a matched strength, he stares back into me to say “I am without a choice.”  I am taken a back to hear such a response; so eloquent, so absolute and confident.  I turn my head to the east to catch the breeze, to level my head.  I turn back as swiftly as I have turned away.

“What?” I ask, sure that I have not heard him correctly, positive that I have romanticized his words with an emotional dyslexia, that I have switched what he has really said.

“I am without a choice.  Every moment I have known has carved this moment into my oncoming reality.  The light &  spirit within us has been pulling us together.  I saw a light in you that obliterated the darkness.  I need that light.”

Someone needs me I think to myself, feeling my heart palpitate as I try to regain my footing beneath his admission.

“God made you for me” he continues, “you are the blessing that he promised would run up and over take me.” 

I am crying now.  He has loved me with a passage from Deuteronomy 28.  Whoever thought a woman could be so swept off her feet by scripture outside of the books of Psalms and Proverbs?  

This is not for the understanding of others; it is not for their approval.  I have always followed my heart from one port to the next.  I will continue to do so, only departing once love no longer resides there.

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